Hello friends! Again, it’s been awhile…but I have a valid
reason this time! I was busy working on interviewing and accepting a job as a
child and adolescent therapist! In fact, my first day is tomorrow and I am so
very excited to get started on this next phase of my career. I will start
working towards my LCPC (higher clinical credential) and see where this takes
me! Getting my LCPC has always been a goal of mine so I’m eager to get started!
So that’s the big announcement and news of the day, however I
don’t want to spend time talking about that right now because something else is
pressing on my mind. Maybe it’s the finance and other personal development books
I’ve been reading that has sparked this, or maybe I’m struggling with it right
now. Maybe it’s both. What I’m referring to is the comparison game. You know,
the one where you think everyone has it better or easier than you game? You
know what I’m talking about? I’m sure you do…it’s something we’ve all played.
It’s something that has impacted our joy at some point and perhaps has gone so
far as to ruin relationships. Comparing is something we need to get a handle on
because it is a destroyer of all that is good. For real, it is!
Maybe it’s money, cars, houses or other material things that
gets your comparison game started. Maybe it’s job promotions, new educational degrees,
or fitness posts. We see people post all over social media about new stuff
every single day. I get it…because I’ve done it. I just posted my new car on
Facebook because I’m so proud of it! (FYI-My husband and I worked hard this
past year to save up for it and buy it with cash. We have Dave Ramsey to thank
for that). We all post about new things
we are excited about, and for the most part I don’t think it’s wrong to do so.
I just think that as we are scrolling through our news feed that we must
remember to be grateful for what we have and be happy for others when things
are going well or they worked hard for something.
To be completely honest, I find myself comparing my life to
those who seem to have more family time than I do. I get sad as I scroll
through Facebook just thinking about how lucky everyone else is because they
get regular family dinners and most weekends off to spend with their family.
Right now, in our phase of our careers my husband and I are not getting this.
We go several weeks where we only see each other in passing. When he is home,
it is almost weird! Don’t get me wrong, I love when he’s home, but I am so used
to the quiet in my house. Sometimes I even get irritated because there’s more
of a mess than what I’m used to! So, I get jealous, and at times I get angry because
it feels unfair. I want to make memories with my little family, and I don’t
want to have to wait months to do so! I don’t want to eat most of my dinners
alone, but things will not be changing for us any time soon. And because of
that, I need to work on my happiness every single day and find joy through
friends, family, work and other activities that make me happy.
The point is that I create this idea of what I think other people’s
family lives are like based on their social media posts. In reality, I have no idea what other families are really
going through. I have no idea how often families do get to sit down for dinners
or do fun things. For the most part, the only thing people post about is what is
going well and what they are happy about. This is great! But for the person
sitting at the end of another phone screen, it seems like the other person has
it all and that things are always peachy for them. Let me take a moment to tell
you…it’s not the way it seems. We find ourselves glamorizing each other's lives
when it’s not even close. As we watch from our own screens, we need to keep that into
perspective. And we need to be content enough with our own lives to be happy
for others. I’m an avid Facebook user so I have to work really hard to be happy
for happy families that I see posting photos, and remember how grateful I am
for my family. Then I work on treasuring the time I do get with my husband that
much more.
I have a wonderful life, and I am truly grateful! I put that
last sentence on repeat every single day. If you really want to get perspective,
then go read the news. I cry every time and remember that the things I worry
about surmount to nothing others have to worry about. When you start to lose
that perspective, and need a good reminder of all that is good, go out and
volunteer. Serve food in a soup kitchen, read to the elderly, give your time to
those who are in need. I promise that you’ll forget about that shiny new car or
that big house your heart has been set on. Again, it’s okay to want those
things, but do NOT let the want consume you. A want is not a need. In fact, most of what we have is not needed for
survival.
From this moment forward, I promise to work harder to be
joyous for others by doing the following:
I’ll smile when I see
people post family time photos. I’ll cheer for the person posting their
workouts and weight loss journey. I’ll be excited for those who share their home/car
buying experience. I’ll feel joyous over new marriages and new babies brought
into the world. I’ll do this because being happy for others brings me joy and
peace in my life. I'll remind myself that others' joy does not make mine any lesser. Most importantly I’ll always remind
myself of how blessed I am.
If you’re struggling with the comparison game, remember
this:
“When you get caught up in social media comparisons, you’re
comparing yourself to make-believe. And when you compare yourself to
make-believe, your real life will never feel good enough.” -Rachel Cruze
Yes. Amen to that. We are all blessed in different ways, and
that is something to be grateful for.
With love,
Keena
