Succeeding through Empowerment

Good Sunday morning friends! I’ve already been up for several hours and am two cups of coffee deep, so I am ready to rock n’ roll! Some days, I literally have no idea where my energy comes from, but today I am so grateful to wake up feelin’ good and inspired!

This morning I finished the book The Magnolia Story by Chip and Joanna Gaines. For those of you who do not know them, they are the hosts of the Fixer-Upper show on HGTV. I happened to stumble upon Fixer-Upper one day while scrolling through Netflix. I usually don’t watch shows like these, but for some reason I decided to see what it was about. Prior to this show, I had no idea who Chip and Joanna Gaines were, but once I started watching their show, I was hooked. For me, it wasn’t just about the homes they were flipping and decorating with immaculate taste, it was how they opened up their hearts and helped people bring their families together through designing their homes. Since I’ve started watching the show I have purchased their new book and magazine because their work inspires me to create with an open heart.

What really draws me to this family-focused couple, is their commitment to serving others. From their clients to their design team, they are always putting others first. I won’t give away any of the best stories, but one of them stood out to me the most. They described a difficult financial time in their lives where they had no money to pay their work crew who helped them flip homes. One day they were gifted with money that would’ve put them ahead financially, but instead they decided to take care of their people and pay them first. That blew me away…seriously it did. It would’ve been easier to pay themselves first to feel more comfortable, but instead they put the needs of those they cared about before them. How amazing is this?

When I started reflecting on their story, I realized how pertinent giving and empowering those around us really is to our own success. I would argue that empowering others is the single most powerful tool we have available. But so often it goes unused. Why you ask? Because it requires us to stop thinking about ourselves…and this does not come naturally to most people. It’s a practice that has to be worked at and reflected on regularly. Empowering others through giving is not only demonstrated through financial giving, but also in the way we treat those around us. I know that this is something I’ve been thinking about a lot and how I can improve in this area.

I’m sure anyone reading this post has had experiences where others have brought them down either intentionally or un-intentionally. I know I have. I have had the moments of joy that were squashed by someone’s jealousy. I have no doubt that I have in turn squashed someone else’s joy because of my jealousy. I have experienced situations where others make assumptions about me and would rather see me fail. I have felt this through their negative words and actions. I have been laughed at instead of held up in vulnerable moments. I have been scoffed at instead of encouraged. When people are succeeding and achieving great things, many people will balk at that cut them down. The reason we do this is rooted in nothing else but our own insecurities.

When we choose not to empower those around us the result is this: It destroys partnership. It kills relationships. It harbors negativity. It stalls growth and improvement.

 

So what does empowerment look like? And what is the impact of empowering those around you?

I’m so glad you asked friends, because this such an important area to talk about. Empowering people is celebrating their success. It’s standing up for others when they don’t have a voice. Empowerment is giving to others before giving to ourselves. Empowering is building up each other’s confidence through positive feedback and kindness. The way we empower is felt through our actions and the language we choose to use. There are so many positive words to choose from and there is no limit on how much we use them. When my sisters and brothers succeed…I succeed. I hope that others feel the same way when I’m succeeding. Empowering others inspires joy, peace, and love. Not just for ourselves, but for everyone around us. It pushes forward creativity because we help each other work past our fears and insecurities.

I was once told that I have a romantic view of how people work together. I was baffled at this statement. If I’m in an environment where respecting those around me and building up my peers is unrealistic, then the only conclusion I have drawn is this: I am in the wrong place. I’m not doing the wrong thing and I certainly do not have a romantic view of relationships and teams. I just know what works well and empowering those around me does just that. Had Joanna and Chip Gaines put themselves first in that financial crisis, they may not have the team that they do today.

In the moments where I’m not feeling empowered, I think about this quote:

“What comes out of someone else’s mouth is a reflection of their heart, not yours”. -Lysa Terkeurst

Empowerment strengthens the heart and builds the hearts of others. Friends, there is just nothing more fulfilling than that.

With love,

Keena

Living through Disappointment

Hello friends! It’s been quite a while since I’ve last written in my blog! My computer had some issues and underwent computer surgery and then all of my files were wiped out. So I haven’t had my technology available to write, but with some help from Best Buy and a lot of help from my tech savvy brother-in-law, I can now fill you in on my world since my last post…which is fairly light because not much has happened! J

Let’s see…well I’m still searching for a career change (more of a slight shift), and I’ve been focusing a lot of my energy on figuring out my next step. Who knew that this could take months?? I surely did not. The hiring process is complicated and can be really, really long. I wasn’t quite prepared to face the amount of disappointment that I have experienced in my search. I’ve stressed a lot, cried a lot, and worried a lot. I’ve grown tired and a bit weary. And while it’s been a challenge, I’ve been working really hard to remember all of the goodness this disappointment has brought me. Yes my friends, there is goodness in disappointment. But only if you look for it and hold on to it to carry you through.

You might be wondering how you do that-how you find goodness within disappointment. Or maybe you’ve got this down. Maybe you already know how to make the lemonade when life gives you lemons. Either way, I want to share with you how I’ve been doing this, because I thought I had it down, but turns out I had and still have a lot of work to do.

Recently, I went through a 9.5-hour interview for a job I really wanted (and still want). It was the longest interview I’ve ever had and it was completely exhausting. I felt like I could sleep for days because I had my game face on the entire 9.5 hours, and I put my best foot forward. After it was over and I got back to my car, I kicked off those new heels, tossed my new suit coat in the car and I just literally hugged myself for a minute before I started my drive home. I was comforting myself because I was tired and ready to rest, but also I was so proud of myself for having made it through conversations with multiple panels and answering some tough questions. I had prepped and prepared myself for this day. So as you can imagine, it was disappointing when I didn’t hear a thing for 3 weeks. In fact, I’m still waiting and I have no idea when or if I will hear back. Unfortunately, this is how some things go. It’s easy to think “I must not have done well” or “they didn’t like me” or the worst thought, “I just wasn’t good enough”. Trust me, I thought these things; however, these thoughts…did nothing for me.

You know what did help me? What helped me was to recognize what I learned from the experience and others similar to it. What I’m learning about is patience. It’s incredibly hard to be patient when you want something so much. I’m also learning perseverance. Being able to show up day in and day out is really something to be proud of. Don’t think your efforts are for nothing because everything you do is leading you to something greater. I truly believe that with my whole heart. If I had everything I wanted right now, I would not have the appreciation for that life if I didn’t have to work for it. This might sound strange, but every day I picture myself chipping away at a stone with a hammer. I have to mentally imagine this because it helps me understand it better. Each day I get a brand new day to chip away at this stone. Every notch is a new experience, an “aha” moment, new skills, and lessons learned. This is how I’m building my character…by taking every experience and learning from it.

I could look at the 9.5 hour interview as wasted time or I could look at it as a growing experience. If I’m ever faced with this situation again, I will be less afraid. Why? Because I’ve done it before and I did just fine. (Just for the record, interview skills are a must and the only way to learn is to do several of them!) If I don’t get an offer, it’s okay because I will move on to the next opportunity. You have to face some no’s first before you get a yes. And more times than not, it’s for the better. Sometimes we don’t get what we want for a reason. This is so hard for me to accept, but at the end of the day I can’t control whether or not someone wants to hire me, but I can control how I respond to it. And that my friends, is powerful. The ability to control our own thoughts is just not as appreciated as it should be and not practiced nearly enough. If you want to see everything as negative, then everything WILL be negative. If you want to see the positive in challenging situations, you will recover from disappointment more quickly and learn something about yourself. This is a daily a choice…a daily practice that we must learn to cultivate for inner peace.

Strength and confidence grow from disappointment. It’s up to each of us to uncover it. If you are reading this and you are experiencing a major disappointment or set back just know this, you are not alone my friend, and my heart is feeling for you. There IS something out there for you. Keep plugging away, keep your chin up and be proud of how far you’ve come. There is a beautiful purpose for your life, and there’s also one for mine.

With love,
Keena