Living through Disappointment

Hello friends! It’s been quite a while since I’ve last written in my blog! My computer had some issues and underwent computer surgery and then all of my files were wiped out. So I haven’t had my technology available to write, but with some help from Best Buy and a lot of help from my tech savvy brother-in-law, I can now fill you in on my world since my last post…which is fairly light because not much has happened! J

Let’s see…well I’m still searching for a career change (more of a slight shift), and I’ve been focusing a lot of my energy on figuring out my next step. Who knew that this could take months?? I surely did not. The hiring process is complicated and can be really, really long. I wasn’t quite prepared to face the amount of disappointment that I have experienced in my search. I’ve stressed a lot, cried a lot, and worried a lot. I’ve grown tired and a bit weary. And while it’s been a challenge, I’ve been working really hard to remember all of the goodness this disappointment has brought me. Yes my friends, there is goodness in disappointment. But only if you look for it and hold on to it to carry you through.

You might be wondering how you do that-how you find goodness within disappointment. Or maybe you’ve got this down. Maybe you already know how to make the lemonade when life gives you lemons. Either way, I want to share with you how I’ve been doing this, because I thought I had it down, but turns out I had and still have a lot of work to do.

Recently, I went through a 9.5-hour interview for a job I really wanted (and still want). It was the longest interview I’ve ever had and it was completely exhausting. I felt like I could sleep for days because I had my game face on the entire 9.5 hours, and I put my best foot forward. After it was over and I got back to my car, I kicked off those new heels, tossed my new suit coat in the car and I just literally hugged myself for a minute before I started my drive home. I was comforting myself because I was tired and ready to rest, but also I was so proud of myself for having made it through conversations with multiple panels and answering some tough questions. I had prepped and prepared myself for this day. So as you can imagine, it was disappointing when I didn’t hear a thing for 3 weeks. In fact, I’m still waiting and I have no idea when or if I will hear back. Unfortunately, this is how some things go. It’s easy to think “I must not have done well” or “they didn’t like me” or the worst thought, “I just wasn’t good enough”. Trust me, I thought these things; however, these thoughts…did nothing for me.

You know what did help me? What helped me was to recognize what I learned from the experience and others similar to it. What I’m learning about is patience. It’s incredibly hard to be patient when you want something so much. I’m also learning perseverance. Being able to show up day in and day out is really something to be proud of. Don’t think your efforts are for nothing because everything you do is leading you to something greater. I truly believe that with my whole heart. If I had everything I wanted right now, I would not have the appreciation for that life if I didn’t have to work for it. This might sound strange, but every day I picture myself chipping away at a stone with a hammer. I have to mentally imagine this because it helps me understand it better. Each day I get a brand new day to chip away at this stone. Every notch is a new experience, an “aha” moment, new skills, and lessons learned. This is how I’m building my character…by taking every experience and learning from it.

I could look at the 9.5 hour interview as wasted time or I could look at it as a growing experience. If I’m ever faced with this situation again, I will be less afraid. Why? Because I’ve done it before and I did just fine. (Just for the record, interview skills are a must and the only way to learn is to do several of them!) If I don’t get an offer, it’s okay because I will move on to the next opportunity. You have to face some no’s first before you get a yes. And more times than not, it’s for the better. Sometimes we don’t get what we want for a reason. This is so hard for me to accept, but at the end of the day I can’t control whether or not someone wants to hire me, but I can control how I respond to it. And that my friends, is powerful. The ability to control our own thoughts is just not as appreciated as it should be and not practiced nearly enough. If you want to see everything as negative, then everything WILL be negative. If you want to see the positive in challenging situations, you will recover from disappointment more quickly and learn something about yourself. This is a daily a choice…a daily practice that we must learn to cultivate for inner peace.

Strength and confidence grow from disappointment. It’s up to each of us to uncover it. If you are reading this and you are experiencing a major disappointment or set back just know this, you are not alone my friend, and my heart is feeling for you. There IS something out there for you. Keep plugging away, keep your chin up and be proud of how far you’ve come. There is a beautiful purpose for your life, and there’s also one for mine.

With love,
Keena