Living in Grace

Hello dear friends! Hope you’ve all been enjoying the beautiful weather these past few days as much as I have been! What a sweet break of respite as we wait patiently for sunshine and blooming flowers. I took advantage and spent time in the sunshine and reflected on how life has been going and what I could do to keep it simple, peaceful, and beautiful.  

As I mentioned in a recent Facebook post, I again made another important decision. I decided to resign from my position as a pediatric therapist. I know, I know…I gave it three months and then made the decision. Seems so soon, right? Yeah…well sometimes when you know…you know. There are several reasons why I’m making a switch to a different job. My decision was based on my physical, emotional, and mental status. I was not feeling fulfilled in the ways that I hoped, leading me to grow weary pretty fast.  This is not to speak negatively of my place of employment; it’s simply a personal thing that led me to question what it is I’m really looking for in my career. Sometimes you just have to give something a shot to see if it works. And it’s completely okay if it doesn’t. But did I tell myself this in the beginning when I began to question? No…I just questioned my ability.

Ability isn’t always the reason for leaving a job or choosing a different career path. It’s about asking yourself “what is my best yes?” and “where am I going to grow and flourish?”. If you are not listening to the whispers of anguish and unrest, then you will run yourself down quickly and lose sight of what is most important in your life. One of my favorite sayings from the philosopher, Socrates, is “know thyself”.  Knowing myself and my needs is an on-going journey. The hardest lesson is understanding that there’s not exactly a point of arrival. In other words, I’m not going to wake up one day and see my path crystal clear. No, this is not what will happen for anyone. Self-discovery is an on-going, life-long journey with “aha” moments, mistakes, and wrong turns. It will never make perfect sense. After all, it’s not exactly my plan to mess with. It was already designed for me with love, beauty, and grace.

But sometimes, I find myself fighting the plan set for me. I have moments when I ignore all the messages being whispered to my heart, which leaves me in a state of distress. Some are gentle whispers…others not so much. I can try to make my way work and avoid my feelings that tell me to move on, or I can listen to my heart and make decisions that will fill me up and help me be the best that I can be. The only thing I know for certain without any doubt is that I am called to serve others. I’ve known this for a very long time. I believe that we are all called to serve each other, but the ways in which we do is different for everyone. Why? Because we are all uniquely talented.

For example, I was not called to be a surgeon like my husband. Nope, not for me! But he is so good at what he does, and for that I am thankful we have people like him. I’m called to walk with people through emotional pain and help them figure out how to move forward. I’m called to listen, love, and give emotionally. I love that about myself, and I’m grateful for my gifts. The challenge before me is figuring out the right environment and pace at which I can share those gifts that leave me filling well and fulfilled and not empty.

If I’m going to thrive on this journey and share my gifts, then I really need to make a focused effort on the negative thoughts I have. I’m going to challenge myself to replace my unproductive thoughts with productive ones. Here’s some examples of the thoughts I’ve recently dealt with: “I gave up”, “I didn’t try hard enough”, “I picked the wrong field”. I’m working on replacing those with these: “I did my best”, “this was not my best yes”, “it’s okay to move around to find the right fit.” I’m working on giving myself grace. For most of us, this does not come naturally and it is a daily practice.

For some more inspiration on how to give myself grace, I picked up a book by Emily Ley titled “Grace Not Perfection”. I encourage you to pick it up if you want to learn more ways to extend yourself grace. I know I need the work! Here are some favorites already:

“What good are we when we’re overwhelmed, overbooked, and overcommitted?”

“We need care, rest, nutrients, and full hearts to be able to speak life into the people we love.”

“If you run yourself ragged caring for everyone but yourself while expecting perfection from your hands, body, and mind, you’re in for a rough collision with reality.”

 I hope you’re showing yourself grace today and always.  

With love,

Keena